Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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