Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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