That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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