Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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