Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
