:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
