Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
