i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
