Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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