i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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