Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
