Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
are you so shy because you have an std?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
