I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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