I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
