Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
