Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
