32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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