Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
