the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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