ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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