my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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