took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just found puke in my bra..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
