I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
