I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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