I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize