it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
do nipples grow back?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize