im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
