Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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