I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
