just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
