If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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