didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
