ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
