Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize