it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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