It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
