last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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