Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
