8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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