your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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