When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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