Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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