Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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