He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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