I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
