You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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