I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
