you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize