How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
