Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
