Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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