I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
