This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
