am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
home. puking in laundry basket.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
