im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
