speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
