You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
