Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
