i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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