dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
