I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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