very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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